Why Don't We "Just" Adopt??

If I had a dollar for every time someone told us the story about a "friend" they knew who was struggling to get pregnant, decided to adopt, and then got pregnant right after that.... well.... then maybe we'd actually be able to afford an adoption.

This is one of the most common "suggestions" or "comforting encouragements" I have heard while going through our fertility journey lately.  I know it's meant well, but it sure does make me want to punch someone in the face.

It is so much more complicated that "just" adopting.  It's not like we can go pick out a baby to adopt tomorrow and that's that.

Also, I would never adopt just so that I could somehow magically get pregnant - as if that were the formula for ending infertility.

Lastly, if Doad and I are not feeling God's call to pursue adoption, it would be just as unfruitful (pardon the pun) to go down that road.  We have to do what we feel led to do, and while adoption is a dream of ours in the future, neither of us feel that God is leading us to that option at the moment.

This post is a little bit sassy, because I've run out of patience for answering this question.  But for the sake of transparency, I want to share it anyway.  Doad and I have been very open about our journey for several reasons: 1) Your prayers and support have meant the world to us as we walk through this season of waiting and losses, that wouldn't have been as available to us if we had not shared 2) We hope to bring purpose to our struggle by being a source of comfort, encouragement, and solidarity to others in similar situations and 3) God deserves glory, no matter what the circumstances.  As we struggle and wrestle through this we want to share the goodness of God in our dark moments, His faithfulness in our weak moments, and His unending love, even when we can't see the full picture.

So I share this with you so that you can better understand why we've not chosen to pursue adoption yet.  So that you can better know how to pray for us as we make tough choices like this.  So that you can be better equipped to provide comfort to other couples who are maybe making the same tough decision.  And so you can stop telling that story already.  Coming from this fertility-challenged mama, it's just not helpful... for me anyway.

So there you have it, a short (yes, short) answer to why we don't "just" adopt already.


Disclaimer: I do not know the mind of God, so don't be mad if I publish this post and two days later He tells us to pursue adoption.  I will gladly eat my words if that means we get to finally add a baby to our family. ;)

Explanation of our "7" Experiment this Year

2016 Goals

We're halfway through February, so I figured it was about time to share the goals I've set for myself for 2016!  I'm attempting to do this vlog style this year. Let me know what you think! :)

To Baby #2

Sweet, little baby,

This is not how it was supposed to be.  Yesterday was your due date.  If we had it my way, you'd be in my belly about to be born or in my arms being kissed ten thousand times a day.

But it isn't that way.

You had a few short weeks in my belly, but you weren't able to grow where you implanted and so you joined your sibling in heaven.  There you two wait for us to come to you since you didn't get to come to us.

We can't wait to come to you.

We can't wait to meet you.

I don't even know what you look like, but I think about you every day.  I think about how I'd sing to you and cradle you in my arms.  How I want to smother you with kisses and smell your soft little head.  How your dad and I would watch you grow and smile with so much pride over the amazing person you would surely become.

We found out we were pregnant with you while on vacation in Cancun.  There was a beautiful peacock that greeted us several times that week and we decided your nursery would be themed after him with beautiful feathers in shades of green and blue.  Every time I see a peacock it reminds me of you and how happy we were to have you in our lives, however brief.

Oh, how I wish we could have met you.

But someday we will.  And that gives me hope to keep going.  I know Jesus is taking good care of you.  And you are with your sibling.

So while we mourn for our loss, we also look forward expectantly to that joy-filled day when we will finally be able to see each other face-to-face.  And I will hold you and kiss you and tell you in person how very, very much I love you.  We miss you and we love you so much, sweetheart.  See you soon.

Mom

2015 Resolutions: Year End Recap

Well, hello there, 2016.  You got here awful quick.  I haven't even had a chance to post my October recap, thankyouverymuch.  

... let's just not even talk about it...

The end of the year really took off for me.  I started several new "endeavors" including, but not limited too: a year-long health coaching program (IIN, if you're interested), becoming a dōTERRA oil educator, and starting a part-time job as an office professional.  

These have all been wonderful and I'm loving what I do now, which is such a gift.  The downside is that my blogging schedule has totally taken a backseat and I'm struggling to reincorporate it to my routine.  But I'm all about the baby steps, so we're just gonna focus on this post today and then worry about the others.  :)

Without further ado, here is my 2015 Resolutions recap:

1. Whole30

We are actually currently on Whole30 number three.  More on that to come. ;)

2. Get (and stay) pregnant

Sadly, this task was not accomplished in 2015.  We gave it our best shot though, lol.  Better luck next time.

3. Quit my job

4. Finish two books with Doad
We did it!!! :)  Woohoo, we finally finished our second book, 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess  (aff.) by Jen Hatmaker.  So good.  A lot of our 2016 goals come from this book.  Again, more on that to come. :)

5. Read 24 books

I definitely fell a little short in this area.  I believe I rang in the new year with 14 books under my belt (16 if you count the 2 with Doad).  I'm okay with it, though.  I still read more than last year and I have several books to keep me motivated to hit that 24 number this year.  

6. Marriage Conference
Also didn't make this happen this year, but I have plans to change that.  For real, this time. 

7. Cruise/vacation

8. Purple hair

9. Keep up with Spanish lessons

Boo, this just totally fell apart once I got rid of my commute.  Now in my free time I listen to podcasts, because they're right there on my phone and they're so easy... Still waiting for a magic fairy to put my Spanish CD's onto my phone... 

10. Learn to drive stick shift
I'm keeping this yellow too because I did sort of learn.  I just never practiced enough to get confident with on-the-road driving.  I would say that one more practice at the parking lot and a couple drives through the neighborhood and I'll be good.  That counts, right?

So I got about half of my goals accomplished this year.  Honestly, the only one I'm disappointed about is the whole pregnancy one (for obvious reasons, I think).  For the rest, I think my priorities changed during the year and I just didn't reflect that here by updating my goals. I accomplished dozens of other goals that weren't on this list and I'm very proud of those achievements.  

I'm also super excited for my next post about my goals for 2016.  I have lots of ideas (as always) and I can't wait to share them with you!  

I know it's a tad belated, but I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas a happy New Year.  

Cheers to 2016!!