How it's Been Going

Random thoughts from the past couple of weeks:

Day 1: I wish I could say this day has been exciting - we're finally starting IVF! Unfortunately, it's mostly been stressful.  You can read about that in this post. BUT, I am happy that in the end, everything seems to be working out and we are hopefully on our way to meeting our baby!

Day 2: The first round of shots last night was no fun.  I still feel pretty weird about putting all these fake hormones into my body.  I've refrained from reading the inserts on the medications (something I usually do) because we have already spent thousands of dollars on this process and I'm not about to back out now.  Reading about all the junk in these shots and the side effects I could have is only going to cause even more anxiety at this point. 

Still, I feel pretty gross about this part of IVF.  I wish there was another way.

Day 3: Last night wasn't any easier.  The second shot really burns as it goes in and both times I've felt like passing out halfway through the injection.  Tonight we're going to try icing the injection area with a frozen spoon and doing the shot while I'm laying down on the bed.  Maybe that will help.

I'm feeling a little self-conscious about how much these are hurting me.  I get my blood drawn ALL the time and handle that fine.  I've had shots before and have hardly flinched.  Is it just all in my head?

Doad said he thought I was thinking about it too much and working myself up.  He told me I should stop focusing on the shot while it's happening and try and think of something else that makes me happy.  I know he's trying to be helpful, but I'm feeling super sensitive about it.  I feel like he thinks I'm not doing a good job or that he could do it better.  I wish I were tougher.  I'm not trying to act like a baby, but I feel like that's what it looks like.

Day 4: This morning was appointment #2.  Blood work and ultrasound every day.  Mom came with me this time because Doad had a work meeting he couldn't miss.  We had a nice brunch date afterward which we don't get to do often.  Aha! So there are perks to IVF ;)

Getting my shots on the bed instead of standing up isn't any less painful, but I did feel less like passing out so I think its working better for us.  

I'm feeling quite large and sore in the midsection.  The nurse said that was normal - I have 50 follicles growing compared to the usual one each month.  I've also had headaches and fatigue each day.  I'm not too concerned as these are all "normal" side effects and apart from them slowing me down a little don't really mind them too much - it means things are working like they should.  :)

This afternoon I'm getting my hair done and tonight I have dinner with some girlfriends.  Hopefully, I'll be having my last glass of wine for a long time. ;)